Do You See the Open Door?
By: Ellsworth E. McIntyre
In the Institutes of Biblical Law, Vol. I, Rushdoony writes, "If love is judged by most of its effects, it resembles hate more than friendship. Such “love” was indeed hatred, and it began with the hatred of God." (383)
Shifting Sand of Romantic Love
The truth of Rushdoony's insight is apparent every day in the life of Grace Community Schools in southwest Florida. We see on a daily basis the hatred poured out on families by the false gospel of romantic love. Our schools have an extensive day care ministry.
Therefore, we serve a cross section of the public, not served by the typical church-related institution. Thetypical mother who comes through our doors is either unmarried and living with a boy friend who is not the father of her children or is divorced and remarried. We even have a sprinkling of couples, without the benefit of marriage, coming to see us. We also, of course, have who are rearing children families who belong to a church and live together in lawful marriage, but are pursuing illusions of romantic happiness in extramarital affairs. The "churched" look down their noses at those shacking up, but the marriages of church members too often end in divorce.
None of the above modern romance-based marriages, church related or not, are built on the authority of the Old Testament. They are built on the shifting sand of romantic love. It is lawless, unconditional love, divorced from any reference to binding law that is doing more to destroy the family in America than anything else.
A Brave but Foolhardy Pastor
In the last decade, the trend in Florida has been more and more grandparents their spoiled rearing their children run illegitimate off to and pursue abandoned happiness grandchildren, in other while romantic liaisons.
Sometimes we get an opportunity to discuss marriage with these lost souls. We point out to them that in the traditional marriage ceremony, neither the bride nor the groom is asked, "Do you love this person?" but rather "Will you take this person to be a lawfully wedded mate?"
In other words, romantic love is not the basis of a Christian marriage.
Law is the only Biblical foundation. Such information is greeted with puzzled expressions and confusion. The only objection the typical bride makes to the traditional wedding ceremony is to refuse to pledge obedience to the groom.
When we point out that the marriage is covenant, base on the Lord's covenant between God the Son and God the Father, their eyes mist over and all comprehension seems lost. It would be a brave but foolhardy pastor who would dare to teach a covenantal relationship to people in today's lawless churches.
There are two open doors, however, to teaching the truth. the wedding ceremony and the second is tutoring our children.
The first is What follows is the charge or homily excerpt from a wedding ceremony co-authored by Rev. Thomas Clark of Tri-City Covenant Church, Somersworth, New Hampshire, and myself:
The Charge
I charge you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost to remember and consider these things:
First of all, Jesus Christ. that you come here today because of the covenant of the Lord (Bride's name), as you came into the sanctuary, you walked down the aisle on a ribbon of white. To those who know not the Lord Jesus Christ, the white ribbon represented just a nice touch; but those in covenant with the LordJesus know a marriage covenant can only be made upon the ground of the perfect righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ. That white ribbon represents the righteousness of His covenant. For the Scripture reads, "That when God could swear by none higher, the Holy Trinity swore upon themselves that the Lord JesusChrist would come to earth and die for His Bride." We rest upon that oath as welcome here today to make a marriage covenant here on earth.
The Bride is dressed in a white gown of righteousness, but not because of the bride's own purity, but because of the gown that the Lord Jesus Christ gives unto His own elect and chosen in His covenant. For God the Father has not elected to save all, but some, and upon some who are elected by Him and chosen by Him, He placed His white robe of righteousness of the eternal covenant.
Therefore, (bride's name) you represent the Church that has been made pure by the sacrifice of Christ.
(Groom's name), as the groom you are dressed in black, symbolic of the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ took upon Himself the sin of His Bride (the Church) and laid down His life for Her. It is in the marriage of Christ's covenant with His Church that you come today. I solemnly charge you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, to remember that covenant.
Second, I charge you also in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost, that you establish a contract based on the Law of God. To those who marry without the Law of God, their marriage contract is based on emotional love. But you will pledge today "troth." The word "troth" is a legal term having to do with the contract that you are establishing today. In pledging troth, you pledge fidelity and industry. We read in I Timothy 5:8, "But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." So, you will accumulate to provide for your own to the glory of God, as the Lord Jesus Christ did for His own. You will pledge troth instead of emotional love, come what may, infirmities, sickness, or health. Neither poverty nor great wealth will break your troth, for your covenant is founded in the covenant of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Third, I would charge you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost to remember that your contract is established in the providence of the predestinating Lord.
The (pastor) previously asked the witnesses present that if any know any lawful reason why you could not be joined together to speak or forever hold his peace. For we who are Trinitarian Christians believe that your marriage was made in heaven, if there is no lawful reason it can be put asunder.
Therefore, by our silence, we pledge that we will not undermine your marriage, for we fear God. And I solemnly charge your families and friends that hereafter nothing be said or done to undermine this relationship.
Fourth, and lastly, I would charge you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, to remember to fear God. The basis of your contract is not affection, for human affection is temporal, fleeting, and fickle. Your contract is based upon the fear of God.
Therefore, in honor of the eternal covenant, I charge you to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as Maker of your marriage.
As a minister, I pledge to accept and bless your marriage. I pray as a servant of the Church, that the Lord Jesus Christ will add His blessing to mine.
Don't Risk Your Paycheck and Pension
Every pastor can safely expand on this charge in private sessions with the prospective bride and groom. The white ribbon representing the Lord's covenant is a beautiful way to present the gospel. The bride will also be much relieved to learn the white gown can be worn by today's soiled woman (provided the Lord bestows His perfect righteousness on her body). I have noticed the bride understands, often for the first time, why a sinful local church can still be regarded as the Lord's bride. The marriage prospects are secretly relieved to learn that their marriage, if based on God's law, will survive the loss of youthful passion. That’s what happened to my mother and dad. I once had a groom blurt out, "That they said that they didn't love one another any more and I couldn't accept that. It really hurt!"
The bride also is always pleased to learn the promise to "obey" in the Lordmeans only to the extent the husband orders his family within the law- word of God. For the groom to demand obedience under all circumstances is idolatry and a breach of the first commandment "Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
I usually illustrate by saying, "Now, of course, your husband would never ask you to lie, or steal, or prostitute yourself, but should that happen, you will disobey because your first loyalty is to the law of God. Do you understand that?" (A copy of The Institute of Biblical Law should be one of the wedding gifts.)
Repeatedly, during counseling with couples, the false gospel of romantic love should be undermined by emphasizing that affection is futile, fleeting, and too fickle to base a marriage that can endure. True love is found only by means of seeking first the dominion of Christ (Matt. 6:33). The foundation of true love is the covenant of God.
The wedding ceremony also represents a golden opportunity to teach orthodox theology to the children. Every little girl seems to dream of marriage. Therefore, surprising school age children will pay strict attention and ask insightful questions. Sunday School teachers should spend time covering this. Often the children can bear sound doctrine better than their corrupt parents.
Over the years, I have never had a parent object to teaching the meaning of the wedding ceremony to their children. The typical reaction is a shrug of the shoulders and "Well, that's a good thing to teach kids."
They have the same reaction to the Ten Commandments.
I suspect every pastor, teacher, or person in authority could institute a program of teaching the authority of the Old Testament in their Christian school or church provided they focus the program on the very young. Teach your children while there's still hope should be our mantra.
We pastors can do this without sacrificing our paychecks, pensions, etc., so why not use the open door before us?
As a friend of mine once put it, "I have come by hard experience to believe old liberals never get converted, they just die."
Well, that may be true, but the door is open to the next generation
"Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 19: 14) .
Lord Willing, We Can Help
I recall a grandfather who came to my first preschool in 1986. He drove an old Ford pickup truck with a gun rack. The front of his ball cap was all stained with sweat and dirt. He wouldn't speak to me in the school building.
He led me outside to his truck. When he spoke, he held his upper lip tight against his yellow teeth. He told me his daughter had spoiled his only grandchild.
"She's a pretty girl," he said, "but Reverend, my daughter is making the same mistakes I made. My grandchild is only three years old and already they can't tell her anything. Can you help me, Reverend?"
He didn't look up, but groaned the question as he hunched over the sideboard of his pickup. Leaning against the opposite sideboard, I replied slowly with respect, "Yes, sir, with the Lord's help, I believe I can. That's why we are here."
He wiped his eyes, straightened up and peeled out 6 one hundred dollar bills. "My daughter will be by tomorrow with her child. God bless you,reverend."
With that comment, he drove away. I was never to see him again.
As promised, the daughter and granddaughter came to school the next day and enrolled. When the $600 was used up, we asked the mother who to bill for the tuition. She replied, "Oh, you will have to bill me. My father died of a heart attack one week after he came to see you. It
I am happy to report that we were able to get that little girl to obey, and we taught her the law-word of God as we have thousands of others. The mother took the child from us just as soon as she was old enough for public education. By faith, "for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (II Tim. 1: 12). One day I trust the HolySpirit will call that child to return to the way of God taught to her at Grace Community.
We will mail the complete wedding ceremony free to anyone who includes
$1.00 to cover postage and handling. May God bless you as you seek to use the open doors available. Your children will rise up one day and call you blessed if you do, or they may rise up one day and curse you before the judgment seat of Godif you don't. This matter is too serious to allow romantic fools to stand in the path of little ones trying to come to our Savior.
Love is the answer, if by love you mean God's authority of the Old Testament in the family. Lead the young to the rock of God's law. Teach them to build their marriage covenant on the bedrock of theLord's sacrifice. Pastors can safely do this. It's an open door!
